What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. Mark 10:9 NASB
I bet you are not aware of the research that has shown that about two-thirds of all divorces today are occurring in low-conflict marriages. Many of these come from what we like to call parallel marriages. Couples get their mail, eat, sleep, wash clothes, mow the grass in the same house, but there is no emotional or physical intimacy left. That is, they're ending without a death blow like infidelity or physical abuse. Instead, a couple simply accumulates enough disagreement and disharmony that they begin believing that the best or maybe the only option for doing away with the headaches is just to do away with the marriage. There is the nagging assumption that you are not either Mr. or Ms. Right and only Mr. or Ms. Right Now. Perhaps they feel that they made a bad choice in the beginning and that if they just made a better choice it would be all better...NEXT!!!
If you are in that situation, we urge you to fight for your marriage. Don’t quit without taking another lap around the track--without stopping to realize that the best marriage to be in is the one they already have. That’s the truth and we can help you get there. Nobody teaches us how to get marriage right, but it is never too late to learn how.
One of our couples had divorced, and he was close to marrying another woman. He wasn't sure what he should do. Fortunately for him, after more than three years of separation his former wife came to him and asked, "Is there any possibility of our reconciling before you move on to remarriage? Look, you're still going to be married to an imperfect person, even if you swap one wife for another. Do you really want to bring all that divorce baggage into your new relationship?"
I am delighted to report that they reconsidered and ultimately married each other again. They are adamantly passionate about creating a strong and healthy marriage together. They are not bashful about telling anybody who will listen about how they made it happen.
One researcher reported that if a couple can find as little as 20 percent of their marriage that they would call satisfactory, they have a better than 90 percent chance of making their marriage better within two years--if they stick with it, if they keep fighting, if they don't give up and throw in the towel too soon.
Discuss If you are close to giving up, please give us a chance to help you know how and practice what a good marriage looks like. I promise you will be glad you did.
Pray Pray hard for the struggling marriages you know. Feel free to make referrals. The doctor makes house calls.
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!