"There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!"
I remember seeing this on the wall in my mom's kitchen "kissing don't last, cooking do". That's just wrong on so many counts. We live in a world of lots of mistaken certainties when it comes to relationships.
We court like mad when we find someone who looks good, feels good, smells good, tastes good and sounds good. But all too often the new wears off and the exigencies of making a home, household chores, job demands, the arrival of children, and familiarity rob us of the joy we started with.
Sometimes it's husbands who stop wooing their wives and at other times wives stop trying to attract their husbands, and even more often the two of them settle like sediment in the bottom of yesterday's coffee pot for existence without joy.
Last week this blog was about how to date your wife. It drew some witty responses:
"My wife thanks you." "Boy, you really nailed me." But then this one came: "Why don't you write about wives dating their husbands?"
I liked that idea and so here we go.
I polled a few of my buddies and the first response I got was "Show up naked!" Not exactly what I had in mind, but not a bad idea. However, here are a few other suggestions, ladies:
1. Dress up at the beginning of the day. Make the last thing he sees the hottest creature you can become.
2. Make sure your hellos are full of excitement and your goodbyes are full of longing. Remember they could always be your last. Give big hugs, never leave without a kiss, and when you come home, make each other first-dogs and kids can wait.
3. Initiate sex from time to time and court him during the day with teases of what is to come.
4. Plan dates regularly, whether weekly or bi-weekly or monthly. Take turns planning so you avoid, "What would you like to do tonight?"
5. Plan a monthly overnight away from the kids and a quarterly long weekend just for the two of you.
6. Make wedding anniversaries special. Take turns planning the celebrations and surprise each other.
8. Concentrate on getting touchy--feely like you did when you were courting. Just touching each other in a loving tender way.
9. Try new things. Take cooking classes, change from cotton sheets to satin, try out a new perfume, go to a restaurant with food you've never tasted.
10. Make a list of the things you do that aren't sexy and cut them in half, at least. See if your man isn't looking at you in a new light. (Then tell him what you did and suggest he try it, too.)
11. "Exercise raises libido," so get active together.
12. Think of your bed as an area with two purposes: sleep and sexy time. The greatest mechanical sexual device ever invented is the lock for the bedroom door.
13. Book tickets to a concert or a game, and tell him to save the date. Don't give away any of the details.
14. Take a long walk holding hands.
15. Purchase a board game or puzzle neither of you has done before, then figure it out together.
16. Keep a playful spirit alive with your partner every day. Flirt with each other, call each other by pet names, or compliment one another on a daily.
17. Finally, play "I remember when." Soft lighting, soft music, clean sheets, shower together, sit facing each other on your bed. Take honey or your favorite chocolate and brush your hubby's lips with your fingertips and then tell him, "I remember when." Then it's his turn.
April 24, 1926
Take time to create memories...you will be glad you did. Enjoy life now—it has an expiration date!
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!