Healing The Walking Wounded - Part 4 of a Five Part Series
There is hope for those of us who have been wounded in our marriage or from a divorce. The next two Nuggets share how fellow strugglers have found new life, healing, happiness and promise for better days. You can view Parts 1, 2 and 3 here on our website www.24kgoldmarriage.org.
If your mate or your marriage is to be rescued from the kingdom of darkness you must continually fight this battle in prayer. If you haven't seen the Kendrick Brothers film War Room, starring Priscilla Evans Shirer, stop here and find a copy to watch. Jesus has given you authority over all the supernatural power of the enemy. Harness it:
19 "Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you." Luke 10:19
Your authority is not based on your power or ability, but on the powerful name of Jesus.
Hold your marriage up to God in prayer and ask the Father to heal your marriage, bring reconciliation and restore your love. Pray, and
17 Pray without ceasing. 1 Thessalonians 5:17
Never give up! Don't get discouraged if you don't see immediate results. Remember, God works according to His timing and not yours. You must simply do your part and leave the rest to Him. Remember also to pray for yourself, that you may find the strength and courage for the path you are on today. David's counsel is absolutely essential for your endurance:
14 Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the LORD. Psalm 27:14
Adjust your expectations practicing Agape love:
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
Almost all marriages encounter conflicts sooner or later. They are always made easier if each partner has the best interests of his/her mate at heart first and foremost.
A marriage crisis is very painful to go through, but that does not mean the relationship should be ended, and remember that none of them are beyond redemption except for unwilling spirits.
In fact when problems and conflicts are worked through, they can strengthen the love in a relationship and provide an opportunity for a couple to grow and learn, and move to a higher level of mutual satisfaction and commitment in their marriage. Recognizing the need to deal with problems and conflict can help restore your marriage as you go through them together. Relationship struggles often reveal that there are some things that you have not understood about your partner and vice versa. They often reflect the gunnysack full of unmet needs and unrealized expectations that have occurred. They may even indicate areas of neglect and misunderstanding. They show you there is work to be done in the relationship.
In many cases of 'acting out' by one or both marriage partners, the 'acting out' is not the problem, it is a symptom that there is an underlying problem that needs to be addressed.
In unhappy relationships, the root cause of unhappiness is a lack of unconditional love and acceptance. Controlling, demanding and unrealistic expectations are just symptoms of that cause. Remember Emerson Eggrichs' statement his book Love and Respect about Expectations..."they are nothing more than pre-meditated resentments." That's why it is so important for marriage partners to GET ON THE SAME PAGE IN THE BOOK on their expectations.
When you stop seeing marriage as an obligation for your partner to meet your expectations, and instead see it as an opportunity to learn to truly accept your spouse for who he or she is, you take a major step in seeing your marriages become happy and fulfilling. The goal of Agape Love is to learn to love your spouse the way he or she wants to be loved. We sometimes call it the Burger King approach...You can have it your way and right away.
Part 5 - Get On The Same Page In The Book
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!